What Would Be The Point
So far so good. I am looking after myself and following the suggestions in that wonderfully helpful little book I received from AA called ‘Living Sober’. What a great title! As support for an alcoholic in recovery it draws the emphasis away from not drinking and places it squarely where it belongs.
Having cast pride aside and asked the Universe to help me resolve this killer issue of my uncontrolled drinking, this perspective makes perfect sense, and what is more, it works!
My focus is now on living sober, not on avoiding getting drunk. When I think about drinking to get drunk now I just think, what would be the point? Turning the alcoholic problem on its head is very effective.
So what, you may ask, have I actually been doing?
Nothing earth-shattering. I have just got on with sticking to sound advice which is practical and simple. For example, using the 24 hour plan (page 5). This effectively means focussing on not drinking for just one day at a time. Realising that Now is the only time we have where we can actually do anything.
This completely removes the stress of thinking I must not drink for the rest of my natural. Very effective. Getting active (page 13). Replacing old (drinking) habits with new ones.
I have been sea swimming every day and doing a lot of walking. Nothing too exerting. Just good relaxing low-impact exercise. I am going to the Alcoholic Anonymous meetings regularly, every Saturday and am gradually building up my new network of fellows who are now only a phone call or email away. Being my natural sociable self, in fact. Great for evaporating any feelings of isolation.
Let us not forget that isolation is a killer component for alcoholic dependency. Add the fact that these are people who completely understand and emphasise with how I feel and this is now a powerful element in my continuing recovery, underpinned, of course, by my initial decision to stop drinking alcohol.
So how do I feel?
I feel great. Very positive. Yes, there are still problems in my life. I am still effectively homeless and sleeping on a friend’s sofa until my work begins. Money is extremely tight but I am attacking my smoking habit now so this also helps. I have bought only one pack of fags in two weeks – not perfect but definitely progress to be proud of.
I am eating well and reading some good stuff to keep me in the right frame of mind. Today is Friday 2nd of September and I am so looking forward to the Alcoholic Anonymous meeting tomorrow.
Last week’s meet was very powerful and once again I heard a lot of things which resonated very strongly with me and reminded me of past episodes when I was binge drinking. No need or desire to go down that road again – what would be the point? I am well rested and feeling stronger with each passing day.
Complacency could slip in unnoticed at this stage and I am very well aware of that. To be honest, I have not, up to this point, had any cravings for a drink. Thoughts have crossed my mind once or twice, but not any actual urges. The thoughts I deal with very easily. I just think about what I could do and what I would have done under certain circumstances when I was drinking and the response I get from myself now is, ‘…but what would be the point?’ And then the thought is gone and I just get back to living my life.